It’s beginning . . . that lovely, insane, hugely demanding and equally rewarding intersection of EVERYTHING.
I watched the last of my Hanukah lights burn down as I strung Christmas tree lights last night. Today I’ve begun to tie up the loose ends of props and payroll for January’s shows as I made a list of what essentials I needed to pack up for this Up and Coming sharing that’s happening tonight. I just put show gifts for coaches in the same “cart” where I made Christmas buys. Yes… EVERYTHING is somehow demanding attention, needing time and mushing together, NOW.
Life is this incredible intersection of what we feel passionate about and the ongoing saga of what we simply must do. I’m stuck in the middle of that muddle. Do I vacuum or make one more call? Do I set a needed meeting, or do I steal away and walk the mall . . .? Do I have time to eat or would it be better to jump in the shower? Do I schedule yet one more practice . . .? – or . . .there is no “or” . . . practice ALWAYS practices.
Intersections are busy, crowded places. This weekend they have been bustling with people, precious people. There is a crew of us who need to line up cots at the church or better yet at a coffee shop. Lack of sleep is making me grouchy and contributing to why this writing – that I truly cherish doing– has taken so long to get out. That intersected with LOTS of coffee is why my thoughts seem to be jumping all over the place.
The first costume day was Saturday . . . really, this show before the show is always as heartwarming, fun and full of crazy, wonky moments as the very best theatre. It was a great day. . we pushed and in three hours didn’t quite make it through Shrek. It was a valiant attempt. That morning intersected with the funeral of a friend I’ve known since high school. Laughter, grief, old friends, new family, joy, tears all filled my heart. I fielded immediate questions about costumes and head pieces as I left to ponder bigger questions of life and what’s after. It all matters, all of it. Gratefully there are so many people extending helping hands that I managed to slip away for that sacred hour and come back just in time to clean up and get home before the amazing boys team charity group showed up to paint. We sprayed gold until late. It was a healing time for me . . .I felt useful and didn’t have to think . . . There is an intersection of mindlessness and spraying blocks that’s incredibly important.
Intersection is all about the business of this company too . . . all week we’ve been having budget meetings and it isn’t lost to me that there is always this meeting place of dreams and practical reality. We have been so blessed. We just keep going . . .we don’t linger in the intersections too terribly long. It’s dangerous to stand unprotected in the middle – you end up being shoved in the direction of whoever, whatever is the strongest force. Sooooooooooo, I’m dodging between necessary things and moving towards January. It means I may attend less other stuff but those practices? Remember, there is no other “or.” (And this is why ordering on line has become such an awesome miracle.)
There are so many intersections but my most cherished one happens tonight. It’s what happens when we take a journey of rehearsals, turn it into a gift, and invite others to watch. There is this meeting of what we can do and what we can’t, of expectation and surprise, of pure delight and amazement. I don’t know what will be tonight and, in the biggest way, I don’t know what will be at either show in January. But I do know this intersection – this meeting up of the dreamer and audience, the daring artist and the program holder is scary, fraught with vulnerability and leaves room for all kinds of misunderstanding and frustration – as well as truly grand, insuppressible love and heartfelt pride. We’ve been at it so many years, and I’m so old now, that I want to see only the latter. My guys are so often misunderstood, unchallenged, under-appreciated and marginalized. It is why we must be. We must offer a different way to view life, to see the heart of another, and to celebrate what is inherently possible if you but dare to believe.
Intersections . . . they are energy filled, pulsating places, offering a blurry array of options. No, we can’t do them all. Yes, doing some of them is enough. I hear that voice in my head – don’t linger . . . make a choice and then, go on . . . and on . . . trusting . . .